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No idea where this is going

Something is inside me wanting to get out, but not sure what it is just yet.  Figured I would sit back and write and see what pops out of my head….

I’m involved with a ton of people.  Everyone has different personalities, different triggers and different issues.  So staying neutral can be difficult.  That said, I’m not terribly concerned with upsetting people if their opinion varies from mine.  If we were all the same, the world would be a really boring place and we would all smile and nod with each other and not have anything controversial to discuss…..

Can you imagine such a world??

Sure, sounds like fun on some level, but the truth is our differences are what make us unique.

I was talking to my sister recently and we were discussing our childhood.  I thought she had it great, and she thought I had it great…. She said I was always with my friends, but the truth was, I was just always out of the house.  There were 7 people in that house, all varying personalities and interests and very rarely was there a quiet moment in the house.  I realized early on that I was fine being alone and used my imagination to get me through.

As a HUMAN, I was volatile emotionally, and did make mountains out of molehills (I know, take a moment to be shocked).  I couldn’t seem to get ahold of my emotions, and when I look at my red head and see her with my same issues, I kind of fear for her..and I kind of think she’s gonna be a totally RAD person when she figures it all out.  But the teenage years are tough to navigate….

But I digress….

My sister looked at my childhood and thought I was having the time of my life.  But when I looked at her, she was WAY more involved in school than I was, and WAY smarter than me.  She had awesome grades that got her into college, where I had barely (and I mean by the skin of my TEETH) a grade average enough to walk out of high school….  I was actually kind of in awe of her.  I still am.  She’s a total achiever and I’m “like a buoy in the ocean flowing whatever direction it goes” (as quoted by my high school boyfriend).  The saying stays true today….

While my sister was paving her way in the world, I was getting through the moments, never looking forward, just hanging where I was.  She got her bachelors, I got a job…she got her Masters…I still had a job….  Keep in mind, I DID try to attend college…but most classes I just left (didn’t even bother to drop them, just disappeared).  In college, I tried to see if I was any better in Math, so I took a class….and cried my way through the semester…I was just as bad at math as I was in High School…. NOT.MY.THING.

Anyway, I tell you that to tell you this….

My sister and I are very different, and we haven’t always been the closest… If it wasn’t for her persistence, I’d have a very limited relationship with her… But I’m super thankful she was persistent!  She’s one of my favorite people in the world.

Through our lives we worked hard to communicate with each other and it was really difficult at times, because she’s so cerebral, and I’m so whimsical… Even our homes reflect how different we are.  Her home is Modern with clean lines and modern furniture. (Imagine Ikea if you will)…. and mine is more like Disneyland without the street sweepers….. Tons of shit everywhere, pictures all over the walls, nothing really matches or is the same theme, and I can’t put stuff away because I will lose it if I don’t see it…..

She’s super fit and runs marathons…and I run to the refrigerator….She likes Newport Beach, and I like Laguna….


But we totally get each other, have each others backs and appreciate each others strengths.  We talk through our disagreements and we grow and learn from each other.

Our lives could have been so different if I kept my closed mind.  I would have missed out on an amazing human being.  And because of her, I am who I am today!

My dad always said we would be best friends and I would have paid a million dollars to make it not so….

I’m glad I was broke, because I would have missed out on so much!

Though this blog is directed about our relationship I think what I am trying to say here is more about tolerance, respect and understanding for one another in the world.  If you shut your mind to the thoughts of another because your way is the “Right Way”, then you could be missing out on something that may actually enrich your life.

I’m really tired of listening to closed-minded people. I find it more fun to listen to what someone has to say, and agree to disagree (with respect).

One of my favorite pieces of advice was, “If you listen to someone with INTEREST and CURIOSITY, you can’t find yourself in a place of JUDGEMENT at the same time!”  It’s true…I actually tried this on my kids… When they were younger and melting down and I was going to lose my mind because I was angry….I would literally take a breath, look at it from their perspective, and realize, “this is the most important thing in the world to you right now….” and my anger went away…..and from that came compassion… go figure!

I think we need to bring tolerance back and appreciate each other just a little more.

This doesn’t mean I LOVE and understand EVERYONE….but I can agree to disagree and move on (for the most part..I mean, nobody is perfect!).

That said, I guess that is what I had on my mind.  I haven’t written in a while, because to be honest, most of what I would write would sound preachy because I’m sad with what I see in many people lately.  I just hope that the winds change and we can bring back a little more love and understanding!