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I’m sorry, Intima-what??

Okay, I admit it… I have been privy to a good few “romantic movies’ as it were…  Ryan Gosling… The Notebook, …. Zac Efron… The Lucky One… just to name a few…

Before you get critical of me, I’m NOT a dirty old woman.  I am a human who is constantly dissecting life and looking at relationships on all levels, wondering how we can better ourselves as a people.  Because, let’s face it… we all need help…

Too many fear intimacy.  Intimacy to them is like opening your soul to be mortally wounded, never to recover.  But the truth is.. intimacy, is a game of trust.  Intimacy can be wonderful.

However, to be intimate, we must be vulnerable. To be vulnerable, we have to be honest…with ourselves, about who we are and we can offer someone else.  Many people can’t go there.  Fear is in the forefront and therefore intimacy will never happen.

I, personally, have never had a problem letting people know who I am or how I feel.  And truth be told, I have taken the hit time and again.  But I happen to lack the ability to “fake it”.  So I am left vulnerable.  And I have to say… I am fine with it.

YES….it’s caused me much heartache and tears.  But what I have found interesting over anything else is this…. people LOVE HONESTY!  And people WANT INTIMACY!

Now, before your mind gets dirty, let me explain “Intimacy”.  Intimacy simply means honesty on a personal level.  To be intimate, the act of intimacy can go a little deeper (no pun intended) and this is where people get tripped up.

I once heard it said, intimacy equals “In to me, see”….  I love this.   We all want to be seen.  To matter.  To be loved.

But to be loved is to open up.  To be honest.  To be vulnerable…to be intimate.

There is no shame in this.  Yet so many have fears in letting go.

I think the main fear is being judged.  And let’s face it…. NO ONE wants to be judged for who they are.  Especially if they are operating from the heart.

But the truth is this… we have so much more to be gained from be honest, and open and vulnerable… than being guarded and resistant and fearful.

The best way to find out if you have a friend is to be honest and vulnerable.  If you end up being judged, you have your answer.

We all have the right to be respected…loved…for who we are.  But we have to be forthcoming.

I can work with what I know… but I can’t fix a lie.  I can’t compete with fear…

I’m not always proud of who I am, but I do realize that I am me all the time.  I have a foul mouth, I love passionately, I hate fiercely, I forgive often and I forget daily.  I hate that my memory is so bad, but I think it’s a trait that I have to save my heart from never recovering from the hurt it feels often.  I never forget the moments that impact my life.  But I forget often enough to keep me humble.

I can’t imaging being a hardened person who can’t feel and who can’t share.  The more I share, the more others open up to me.  And I love that.  But I wonder if others know that being vulnerable can be a pretty awesome thing.  Yes, pain… but yes happiness… on levels that are only available to those who trust…those who have faith that no matter how far you fall, someone, or something will be there to catch you.

Go for it…let go… let love… let happiness….let faith….give it a shot.